Waking up
by Cazzy20
Summary: Bella felt like she had been asleep. But now she had just "woken up" and found herself at her own wedding reception; married to a vampire she didn't love!
1. Chapter 1

**I own nothing.**

"Wow you are looking at me like you just woke up" Jasper said, his lips leaving her cheek, as he spun her around the dance floor.

Bella felt like she had just woken up. Her mind felt clear for the first time in months. How this had happened? She couldn't even begin to fathom. But the fact remained she had just "woken up" and found herself at her own wedding reception; married to a vampire she didn't love! She looked down at the dress she was wearing and knew she would never have chosen this. It was long, white and old fashioned. Perfect for Edward she reasoned but not to her taste. Then again getting married wasn't really to her taste. She looked at the huge diamond ring on her finger. It felt like she was seeing it for the first time. It was ostentatious and extravagant, everything Bella wasn't.

Gazing around at the throng of people and the myriad of fairy lights and flowers, cakes, champagne she felt dwarfed. Without a shadow of a doubt she knew Edward had manipulated her into this she just had no idea how. But this, it was the last thing on earth she would have chosen.

"Earth to Bella, you checked out again" Jasper said.

"Sorry Jasper it's just all so overwhelming." He looked her in the eye with a shrewd look.

"You've been doing that a lot lately" he said quietly. Bella smiled softly.

"When everything about your wedding is decided for you I guess that is your only other option."

"I was under the impression you wanted Alice and Edward to take the burden from you." Jasper whispered.

'No Jasper, I never wanted this in the first place.' She so desperately wanted to scream. Her mind felt suddenly free, she was confused and frightened. Who could she trust? Hell could she trust any of them? She just smiled "Yeh, of course"

He studied her intently for a while. She looked happy but he could feel her emotions were whirling with confusion, distrust, fear and hatred. Not the usual cocktail of a bride at her own wedding. But as he thought more he alarmingly realised it was actually refreshing to feel anything from her. For so long her emotions had been muted, stifled and almost imprisoned. Before they left they had been clean and vibrant, she was alive with feelings at times she was an oxymoron, emotions warring within her. But since they got back she seemed a shadow of herself. Always quiet, withdrawn and lost. Edward would never let her out of his sight his emotions more possessive that loving. The more Jasper thought about it the stranger it felt.

The song ended and Edward stalked in predatorily to steel her away. She gave Jasper one last sad smile and allowed Edward to steer her across the dance floor. Bella knew that she needed time and space to figure out what had happened to her and what if anything she was going to do about it. Her honeymoon, whilst the thought was distasteful to her, could be the perfect place to think. As Edward gracefully spun her around, Bella spotted a possible flaw in her hastily conceived plan. Alice! Alice was the only fly in the ointment. She would see any decisions and try to stop her. She continued to study Alice who was dancing with Carlisle. She looked oblivious to the thoughts and decisions whirling in Bella's head or so she hoped.

"I want to talk to my dad" she timidly requested as Edward tried to get her to dance to yet another song. He didn't seem to mind the fact they had barely spoken since she 'woke up'. Her instincts told her that was the norm these days.

"Of course my love" he simpered. Bella could not repress the shudder. Christ how did she let this happen? This really wasn't her, was it? When did she start asking permission? Whilst her thoughts felt free her body seemed to be on auto pilot.

As Edward passed her to her father he said, "Remember you will have to change soon so we can leave." She looked into his eyes. There was no love there, no adoration, no warmth, but she had the oddest woozy sensation. What was going on?

Suddenly, very afraid, Bella clung to her dad as they danced, her every instinct screaming at her to keep quiet, to not create a scene. It would be written off as an overwrought mind that needed the rest and several days relaxation to heal. She had absolutely no doubt that the Cullen's would unite to keep her quiet, whatever was happening to her they had to know, and they would support Edward completely.

Turning she glimpsed Jasper watching her with a worried expression, no-one else seemed to notice, including Edward who was dancing with Esme. Either Jasper was concealing his own thoughts from Edward or they deemed her panic as purely inconsequential. Both considerations left Bella with feelings of dread.

"I love you Dad. I wanted to thank you for everything. I have really enjoyed having the chance to get to know you." She whispered while trying not to break down and cling to her dad like a life line.

"You sound like I am never going to see you again. I will be seeing you when you get back from your honeymoon, right?" He moved his head to stare into her eyes. For a slight moment he thought he saw a frightened child almost pleading to her shining knight to rescue her. But then her smile returned.

"Yes why don't we have dinner once a week, just the two of us?" Bella hoped she didn't sound as desperate as she felt. Would Edward try to stop that?

As the music changed Alice bounced over, "Come on time to change" With a kiss on her father's cheek Bella allowed herself to be pulled away.

Once she was safely in her going away outfit, which included three inch heels she had no hope of staying upright in. How many times had she told Alice this? She could feel the panic overtaking her again. "Alice please can't I wear flats, they will be so much more comfortable for traveling in" she pleaded.

"Oh come on, you just need to get used to them" Alice put her hand on Bella's cheeks and looked into her eyes. "It will be fine, trust me" She felt woozy again. Her panic escalated.

"You have got to calm down" Alice said.

Seeing an opportunity to get some information Bella worded her answer carefully. "I guess I am just nervous about the honeymoon, what if I am no good at sex? Please can you give me a clue as to what will happen? Will it be ok? Please."

Alice thought for a while. "To be honest with you. I haven't been seeing your future clearly since Volterra, I just get glimpses and in them you are one of us and happy. So I guess everything will be as it should."

'As it should' wasn't quite the reassurance Bella had hoped for. "What do you mean not seeing clearly?"

"It's like a mist all the time but every now and again I get a flash of you happy and a vampire. But that's it no time, place or company. I didn't tell you because you would have worried and Edward doesn't want you worried." Alice held her gaze again and the woozy feeling came back. "You must forget that I have told you this, Everything is fine"

"Come on time to go"

They walked down the porch steps where everyone was gathered to wave them off. Bella hugged and kissed her parents, forcing herself not to cling to them. Her panic was rising to the point she felt sick and dizzy.

A wave of calm swept over her. Forcing air into her lungs she said goodbye to her 'in-laws'. The same woozy feeling came over her as Carlisle and Esme said goodbye and looked at her. Bella couldn't focus on what they said, she was concentrating totally on breathing. Emmett gave her a huge bear hug and made some comment about not sleeping. Rosalie just smiled as did Jasper, but it didn't quite reach his eyes, they looked worried.

Edward pulled her to the car and she got in forcing herself not to look panicked she waved goodbye. This felt so very, very wrong.

As they drove Bella looked through the bag Alice had handed her. It contained lipstick, mascara, a mirror and brush. No passport or tickets, no mobile, no books or i-pod and no money.

"Do we have a camera?"

"No need I never forget" her husband answered.

"But I do, I was hoping for pictures to bring back to show people"

"Oh. Of course, my phone has a camera you can use that"

"Great" she replied. "Do I not need a phone as well? I noticed there isn't any cash in here. I won't be able to buy anything in the way of memento's and gifts."

"You can use my phone whenever you need to, and as for money I will give you my card to buy things, just tell me when you want it." It sounded reasonable, but then again restrictive almost oppressive. Bella realised she would have to ask him for everything.

Feeling strangely courageous Bella decided to push it and gage his reaction. At least learn the new boundaries she seemed to have accepted. "That is very generous of you but I would prefer to not have to ask for things. I would feel a lot happier having some freedom, what if I want to buy you something and I have to ask for your card to do so, or you might not approve of what I want to buy and not hand it over"

"You could never buy anything I would not approve of" He meant it to sound loving but to Bella it sounded threatening. "I can give you cash if you prefer, but where we are going you won't need it"

A feeling of ice cold dread settled over her.


	2. Chapter 2

**A.N. Thanks for the reviews.**

**Enjoy.**

**I don't own anything.**

At the airport Edward played the true gent, handling the bags and checking them onto their flight.

"First class?" Bella wondered.

"Of course. Only the best for my honeymoon." Edward replied not looking at Bella.

When she went to buy some water and chocolate from the small kiosk Edward intervened.

"You won't need any food. You will get a good meal on the flight."

Bella doubted the good part. In her experience inflight food was terrible.

She handed them to the cashier anyway small shreds of defiance and bravery forging through her. "I just really fancy some chocolate."

Edward sighed but didn't insist, and handed over the required amount and turned not trying to hide his disapproval.

The cashier handed the items back to Bella with a look that she used to get from her mother whenever she had done something clumsy, one of sympathy, the look that said "never mind, perhaps it'll get better, eventually"

Anger suddenly flared inside Bella. "So much for "you could never buy anything I would not approve of" she hissed at his departing back.

Turning he countered "Perhaps some fruit would have been better." Then as he turned to carry on walking he spat. "We wouldn't want you to get fat."

Shocked, Bella tried hard to answer his derogatory comment but could only stammer. "So you are going to monitor my spending." Then clinging to the rapidly disappearing threads of defiance and anger she blurted out. "I have my own money, just give me back my bank card and I'll look after myself."

Edward turned back to Bella again. "Oh come on love" he purred looking into her eyes. This time however, the voice, the look just made her feel sick. Glancing towards the attentively watching cashier, he pulled her to the side slightly. "I can't give you it back as I didn't take it. You left it at home remember, so Carlisle could arrange the transfer of your assets. It was your idea. Besides it's OUR money now."

Edward gently led her away from the kiosk, away from the cashier who had taken far too much interest in their conversation, pretending to re-arrange several items on the display behind them.

"I just don't see why you need _that" _he added gesturing his head toward the chocolate bar with a look of total distain.

"It makes me feel good, comfort food calms my nerves. Sorry I am not used to having to ask others for things" Bella retorted trying to rein in her anger.

"I am your husband. You must always ask me, it is my job to provide for you. You need someone to take care of you for a change" Was she being unreasonable? It sounded so loving. Bella wasn't sure, it felt oppressive not caring. The nauseous feeling got worse as Edward stared into her eyes. "Come, we should get on the plane"

Shaking her head Bella stalled. "Can I please get a book to read?"

"I have books for us in here" he replied indicating his shoulder bag.

They were silent when they boarded the plane and took their seats. Edward stowed their bags and buckled her in. Caring or patronizing again she just couldn't quite decide.

After the plane had left the runway and reached cruising height the fasten safety belt light went out and Bella stretched relieved that they had made it into the air. "Can I have a book now please?" Without looking at her Edward handed her 'Jamaica Inn' by Daphne du Maurier, not one of her favourites.

"Do you have my i-pod there as well?" it too was passed to her without comment or contact.

She opened the book, put her music on and munched on her chocolate. This was going to be a long, long flight.

Closing the book, after trying to read the same page at least twice and not taking it in, Bella leaned her head back and closed her eyes.

She tried to make sense of what had been going on. Her last clear memory, she realised, was of Volterra. Had something happened to her there? Edward had been angry at something Marcus had been thinking before they left. Bella remembered telling him that she didn't want to get back together. She had decided to try things with Jacob.

Edward had declared his love for her, insisting he would win her back, "I will do whatever it takes to make it up to you. I want you back." Glancing across at her new husband Bella distinctly remembered telling him that there was no chance of him winning her back, that she no longer loved him and she was happy with Jacob. She had been so determined, the fact she was now married to Edward left her feeling like a cold hard rock had settled in her stomach. "Oh. My. God." She thought panic filling her again, "what the fuck had happened to her?"

Memories slowly started returning; Alice telling her not to be silly, Vampires don't date werewolves, the two don't mix etc. Edward's long winded lectures about how the wolves weren't safe, all the while insisting she remain human.

Perplexed Bella searched for more answers to her apparent amnesia. Nothing came. Had she hit her head? No. Well maybe. Hell she had absolutely no idea.

Feeling her anxiety starting to rise Bella slowed her breathing and tried to think of nothing. Images of brains with Latin names on them from biology class danced across her eyelids. She almost chuckled. She was clearly far to stressed.

Fuzzy, dreamlike memories filled her mind. Edward had tried to fix her truck. It had broken down, she had called Jacob to come and fix it. Edward had gone mad, telling her he was more than capable of sorting it. God he had been furious when Jake turned up on the driveway. Good job Charlie had been there. Edward had jumped into his Volvo and sped off down the street. It had taken Jacob only seconds to fix the distributor cap which had somehow come off. Was that common she had asked? Jake had thought not, he said it was virtually impossible to 'fall off' as Edward had stated. When she had pushed for more he claimed it had been sabotaged. Could Edward have done it? She couldn't remember. Although she had locked him out that night and the next day they had had a terrible row, but in the end she had given in, well she must have hadn't she?

Memories flowed of Edward gradually isolating her from all her friends, the wolves and even to some extent her dad. Jake hated her now. Bella couldn't remember the last time they had spoken. Not even when the wolves had caught Victoria had she been able to see him. There had been no-one from the res at her wedding. Not even Billy who was practically family.

The only clear memoires she felt she could count on were of her trying to get away, trying to break-up or trying to do something for herself. And yet here she was, married. A feeling of dread swept over her when she recalled Edward giving her the ring. Her rejection of his proposal had just been brushed aside. She had no clear memory of anything after that.

Edward never actually said no to her, he never forbade her doing anything but he always managed to get his own way. Two things made no sense to Bella at all. Why he felt the need to control her, and how he was doing it.

She was ashamed of her recent behaviour. Her hazy memories showed her being passive, a doormat, taking a spectator role in her own life. Could she even trust her own memories? It was almost like she had been in a dream, dazed.

Dazzled!

She shot up in her seat.

"Are you alright love?"

Edward turned toward her, the concerned tone belied by the hard expression in his eyes.

"Yes, sorry I was asleep,"

He turned back to his book without another word.

They were like strangers not newlyweds.

All of a sudden it was clear as day to Bella.

By rejecting him he had become determined to have her. He had loved her, may be still did in a way, but her denying him had turned it bad. He clearly just didn't like being told no. "I bet he never even got told no even as a human child" she thought wryly.

He was behaving exactly like a spoilt child. Had to have the one thing he had been refused. She was just a possession now. He probably didn't really want her himself any more but he couldn't bear the thought of her with someone else when he had offered himself to her.

So he had dazzled her into submission, that's how he got her agreement. That's why she was so meek.

But that didn't explain why Alice had done it too, or why the others had allowed it. No there had to be more to it. Or had they simply gone along with it because it was what he wanted and they wanted to see him happy?

Was that why he kept insisting he wouldn't change her, despite the instructions of the Volturi? Was he afraid that she would reject him again or that he would be unable to control her?

It didn't explain why the dazzling seemed to not work anymore. What had caused that to change? She looked back to her first lucid moment.

Jaspers kiss!

She held back a laugh. Like Sleeping Beauty, a kiss from Prince Charming had woken her up. What would Edward think of that? She didn't really want to find out. It was a farcical idea anyway; this was certainly no fairy tale.

Perhaps it had just lost effectiveness, maybe it had something to do with the fact Edward and Aro couldn't read her mind.

Bella knew in her heart Edward wouldn't let her go. He would not be pleased to have lost his hold over her. Would he threaten her, her father? Who could she tell? Carlisle and Esme would support Edward.

That nauseous feeling! That was them trying to dazzle her. So they were in on it as well. In that case she could definitely not go to them. She couldn't explain it all to Charlie that would put him in danger with the Volturi, and the wolves wouldn't help, even if she could get to Jake. She had hurt him too much to do it again.

No she was on her own. She would have to find her own freedom and then find a way to keep it.


	3. Chapter 3

**A.N. Thanks for the reviews. **

**I own nothing.**

**Enjoy.**

Bella spent the remainder of the flight trying to arrange the thoughts and memories that were slowly starting to re-emerge.

Edward continued with the façade of the doting husband to anybody in passing but his actions and comments left Bella in no doubt that the growing feeling of nausea in the pit of her stomach was real and not some silly apprehension about flying or the up and coming wedding night. Despair gripped her tight in a chain mailed fist, her drive and spirit were slowly being squeezed from her. How long would it take before she became a complete trophy bride she thought dejectedly? Her loathing for feeble women that allow others to completely control them was starting to diminish along with her hope of escape.

The more memories that returned the more the sinking feeling grew, the more Bella realised she really was on her own.

After landing at the airport Edward had quickly collected their luggage and escorted her towards the taxis. Using immaculate Portuguese Edward gave the driver instructions and soon they were flying along the beach side roads.

Pulling into a small but crowded marina Edward stated that they had arrived. Looking round at the jetties and their collection of yachts and boats she couldn't understand where they were staying until he led her towards a small high powered motor boat.

Edward put their bags in the back of the boat then picked Bella up and placed her, much like a priceless china doll, in the seat next to the controls and lightly jumped in beside her.

He powered up the boat and headed out to sea. The wind rushing over Bella was cool but had nothing to do with the goose-bumps that were forming on her body. She felt like a prisoner being escorted to the island of Alcatraz rather than a bride on her honeymoon. She believed that if she turned and looked she would see her life bleeding out of her like ribbons dragging behind the boat.

Edward didn't say much and Bella soon gave up trying to get any information out of him. After what felt like hours Bella thought she could see lights dancing up ahead of them.

The lights were torches set into a tropical beach with a small jetty and a large single story villa sitting at the edge of the beach. Edward pulled up to the jetty and secured the boat. "Isle Esme" he announced helping Bella out of the boat.

"The house will be open, come on, Château Cullen awaits." he motioned with his head as he grabbed the luggage and started toward the house.

It was an absolutely beautiful tropical paradise just like she would have imagined. The house was huge and the interior elegant and refined, with doors that opened directly onto the beach. She could hear the sea from the bedroom. If it wasn't for the circumstances she would have loved it.

That first night had been a disaster. She expected Edward to want sex but as the night wore on she realised he was as disinterested in it as he had always been.

"Don't you want to make love to me?" she had asked timidly not sure whether she wanted to know the answer.

"Bella we have been through this, it is too dangerous with you human, I could kill you so easily" was that concern or a threat, she wasn't sure.

"So why bring us here? It is beautiful but we could just of easily gone to a mountain cabin where you could turn me safely." She was starting to get angry, it felt like every decision was being made for her.

"For the last time I will not turn you. I will not damn your soul. You will live out your human life." Edward had replied through gritted teeth.

"So you expect me to remain a virgin for ever, contenting myself with hand holding and chaste kisses, no passion, no physical contact. No hope for a family. All the while aging so that eventually I look like your grandmother. Is that your idea of love because it sounds like torture to me. How can you be so cold? You take away all my future happiness but offer nothing in return."

"I, offer nothing? I am giving you wealth, security and devotion. I will never love anyone as I love you, and when you die I will join you. Sex isn't the be all and end all. We can have a good life together."

"As nothing more than friends" she spat back, "I don't want wealth, you know I am not that shallow and if you were devoted to me you would want me forever. I don't want you to die because I do. I want to live now. Sex may not be the be all and end all but it is a normal part of most adult relationships. I don't want a platonic life with you, I want a life."

"ENOUGH!" he roared advancing on her in cold measured steps and grabbing her arms below her shoulders. "You will stop this argument at once. You are my wife and will abide by my decisions. You will remain human. We will never make love."

She was shaking in fear as he held her in a firm hold, she was going to have bruises. He looked into her eyes "You know I am right. I want what is best for you. No more arguments." With that he turned and walked out onto the beach.

She had run to the bathroom and vomited again and again. Once her stomach had settled she had walked shakily to the kitchen for some water. She was horrified by what had happened and it made no sense to her at all. If he loved her why didn't he want her? Confusion reigned in her mind. Bella knew she didn't want him, or want him to want her. But why was he going to such lengths? Why marriage? Why the cruelty of a passionless life alone? It was heart breaking.

She would have accepted the current situation if he was planning to turn her but it was obvious to Bella that that would never happen. Why not? What was his issue with turning her? She didn't believe for one minute all that about damning her soul. What wasn't he telling her? Would he lose his control over her if she turned? Could the Cullen's control her as a vampire?

Bella's thoughts spiralled through her mind as she tried to sleep. Alone, of course, in the spacious bed on her wedding night. She couldn't stop the tears from rolling down her cheeks.

And yet a spark of determination wavered in the darkness that seemed to engulf her so completely. Some fleeting thought streamed from that wavering spark but Bella couldn't grasp it. Every time she tried it would slip through her fingers like sand leaving only the faintest of traces, not enough to grasp a meaning.

She woke up alone as well. Edward must have returned sometime during the night but had clearly stayed away from her. In the morning he had not spoken to her at all.

The next few days were tense and strained for her until she realised Edward thought she was under his control again. They had hardly spoken to each other at all and yet they spent every moment together. He had dragged her hiking round the island, because it was a healthy pass time. They had gone swimming but when she had put on a bikini he had informed her the sun was too strong for her fair skin and brought her a cover. He had cooked all her meals at times designated by him, picked out her clothes, as he knew what they were doing that day. And sent her off to bed at a decent hour as she needed plenty of sleep. She felt like a child, all that was missing was the pat on the head. She was allowed to do nothing for herself, he would be wiping her arse for her next.

Yet day by day, that small wavering flame of determination flourished, growing slowly. Bella tried not to concentrate on it too much. The last thing she wanted now was for Edward to become suspicious about any change in her behaviour.

On the fifth day of 'his honeymoon' however Bella allowed that small flame some air and it sparked into life. Having had enough of being dragged around she got dressed in a bikini and sundress, put lotion, a towel, a book and sunglasses in her bag and walked into the kitchen. When Edward presented her with a hearty breakfast of omelette, toast and juice and told her they were going on a long walk she informed him that an apple would do and she was going to spend the day on the beach. With that she turned and walked onto the sand.

With every step she expected him to grab her arm and pull her back. Every step got faster as she almost ran from the lecture on spending time together. But he didn't grab her. That flame of determination got a little bit stronger.

As it happened she had timed it perfectly a boat was sailing close to shore so Edward had to stay in the shadows. She stripped down to her bikini, slathered on the sun screen and lay down.

It was a small victory and she would no doubt have to endure a long torturous lecture and hours of Edward being in a strop, but it was worth it. Bella smiled cheekily to herself as she munched her apple. Things were going to change.

After a few hours of relaxing in the sun and swimming Bella decided to get some lunch. She went into the house expecting to see Edward standing on the threshold full of righteous anger but he was nowhere in sight. She quickly moved to the kitchen to get some food, the breakfast things had been cleared away and there was again no sign of her husband.

Anticipation of the forthcoming 'telling off' was tempered by the growing flame of determination. Determination not to be treated like a naughty child, to be treated like an equal in life and in their 'marriage', not that he had ever treated her as an equal. She was determined to do something, What? Well she hadn't got that far yet.

After making herself a sandwich Bella settled down to watch a movie. About half way through it Edward returned. She contemplated briefly pretending to be asleep, but in the end decided to just get the inevitable lecture over with. He really didn't disappoint.

For the next couple of hours she was spoken to like a naughty, ungrateful child. She nodded, signed and apologised in all the right places but honestly she could barely remember what he said. Her mind was far away. And yet what neither of them realised was that all he was successfully doing was feeding that flame of determination. It grew and grew with each demand, each reproach and each condescending remark.

Eventually he stomped off leaving Bella alone. With a small chuckle to herself she re-started the movie and settled down for an afternoon of freedom. She felt liberated and happy. Her tiny little victory was becoming something more.

As the day turned into evening Edward returned to her.

"I am going to go to the mainland to hunt. I will be back before it gets light. I assume you can feed yourself this evening." He said with a condescending air.

Suddenly furious Bella bit back the response "I have managed to feed myself for the last fifteen years I am sure I can manage one more night." Instead she replied demurely "Of course Edward no problem"

He smiled and walked into the bedroom to change. When he came back Bella was struck with a sudden thought. That small flame erupted and engulfed her in wild fire. It spread so fast she struggled to control her body from betraying the plan that had just leapt at her.

"Can I borrow your phone? I would love to take some photos of the beach at sunset."

He handed it to her without a word. Secure in his control over her, who would she call anyway he thought.

"Thank you" She quickly turned the volume down, just in case Alice was watching. "See you in the morning"

Edward kissed her gently on the cheek and walked away without a word.

Bella watched him go with her heart in her mouth. Instead of heading for the boat he headed into the water. She released the breath she didn't realise she was holding and ran toward the bedroom.

In record time she showered and packed. Opening the safe in the bottom of the wardrobe she got hers and Edwards passport, return tickets and Edwards credit card as well as much cash as she dared carry, leaving her wedding and engagement rings in their place.

Grabbing a bottle of water and an apple she dragged her bags out to the boat. Edward had always just assumed she didn't know anything about boats but having fished with her dad since she was a child he was wrong. Charlie had always made sure she knew what to do in an emergency. This certainly counted. "Thank you dad, I'm so glad you insisted" she offered up to the night as a prayer.

Without understanding how Bella knew Edward was long gone, she started the boat and left Isle Esme without a backward glance. When the mainland came into sight Bella dropped Edwards phone, passport and ticket over the side. Childish perhaps, but it might just slow him down a bit. Every minute her confidence grew that she could pull this off.

When she reached land she left the keys in the boat hoping it would be stolen and slow him down even more. She dragged her bags up the gang way and hailed a taxi.

"Aeroporto, por favour" She asked the driver in halting Portuguese as she got in the backseat. The clock on the dash said 9.30 pm she hoped there would be a flight out that night to anywhere. She slouched down in the back seat hiding, as they made their way through the crowds out onto the open roads.

When Bella got unloaded at the airport she dashed through to the check in desks. According to the boards there was a flight to New York at 10.53, she had roughly an hour. Pleading a family emergency for her apparent haste and distress she was able to buy a first class ticket on the flight to New York. Her bags were checked quickly and in no time at all she found herself sitting on the plane, buckling her own seat belt. She hardly dared look out of the window, almost expecting to see Edward sprinting toward the plane.

It was a ten hour flight, the sun would rise in Rio at around 5.30am, that was over three hours before she would land. There was a very strong possibility that the Cullen's would know she had run when she landed. Could they get to New York in that time? It was doubtful Edward would but the others possibly could. As the plane soared into the air she allowed herself to breathe and smile and for for the first time in a long while feel hope. She wasn't home free yet but it was a start.


	4. Chapter 4

**A.N. I have to say for some reason I found this one hard going. **

**As always thanks for the reviews and enjoy. **

**I own nothing.**

Edward arrived back on Isle Esme just as the sun was rising. It had taken him much longer to hunt than he had anticipated. Every time he had let go of his inner beast to hunt he had been plagued by images of Bella in that tiny bikini flaunting herself indecently on the beach.

He had struggled to control himself at the time. "How dare she parade what was his to the view of all and sundry." He had thought furiously. Every instinct screamed at him to drag her back to the house. But instead he didn't stormed off in fury to clean up, then went for a long run to get rid of his anger so he felt calm enough to discuss her behaviour rationally.

Edward needed to explain her position as his wife, so she knew what was expected of her. He wanted to force her to obey him, like she promised at their wedding. That huge, extravagant wedding that he had insisted upon to show the pack and her increasingly critical father who Bella now belonged to.

Esme and his mother before her had always said he was the perfect gentleman, refined, dignified with good taste and excellent manners, any woman would be lucky to have him. So why, when he had chosen one was she not grateful? Why did she not appreciate him and try to be perfect for him? Was this really too much to ask?

Yet at every turn Bella strove to defy him, to make him jealous, she put other men first. Edward could not stand feeling jealous. Jacob the best friend she refused to let go. The one she kept trying to run to. He had to make her be very cruel to Jacob in order to get him to go away. He could not understand how Bella could prefer Jacob to himself. Edward was cultured and poised. Jacob was rough and ready, why would Bella prefer that? Then there was her father, the man hated Edward, was always trying to undermine him. And Bella listened! Didn't she realise that Edward was the only man whose opinion should matter and yet she always paid attention to others. Hell she respected Carlisle's opinion more than his own and that was unacceptable, after all Edward was the one who could read minds.

It was later as he hunted the memories of her little show of defiance had caused quite a different reaction. He couldn't get the sight of her almost naked body out of his mind. He watched again as his mind ran over her actions, as she seductively rubbed sun screen into her skin, teasing him as her fingers slipped tantalizingly under the straps of her top and under the waistband of her bottoms. She had done it on purpose, of that he was certain. She had to have known what she was doing.

He was so hard it was unbearable and he couldn't concentrate on anything until he had 'dealt' with it. It was so humiliating for him to have such an appalling lack of self-control. This had never happened before. He had always found the act of masturbation to be a deplorable human weakness. Edward believed himself to be a higher species and should not therefore be ruled by such base needs. He had always looked down on his 'brothers' and to some extent even his father due to their lack of control in sexual matters. He was horrified with himself to have been so weakened and furious with Bella as the cause.

It was all Bella's fault. Why couldn't she just obey? Why did she have to ruin everything? All of his plans thrown out. His lovely quiet holiday ruined because she wouldn't obey. The peace of his mind shattered due to her wilfulness. That was something he would need to stamp out. No wife of his could possibly be so independent.

Edwards mind was reeling as he approached the house. He couldn't afford to lose control with Bella. He knew if he allowed himself to be intimate with her he would kill her, his lust for her blood would take over. He couldn't lose her, she was his for ever. His to look at, his to show off, his to keep safe and his to control. Besides physical intimacy was for lesser beings, animals. He was neither. He didn't need to rut at her to show his love, Edward did that daily by keeping her pure. Bella only needed to be made to understand that.

He went to shower in the guest room. Edward didn't want to risk seeing Bella asleep and not decently dressed so soon after he lost control in the jungle. It was warm so he knew she would be wearing very little. His mind jumped once more to the images of her on the beach, he groaned as he took himself in hand again, silently cursing her for his weakness and his being forced to give into his disgusting, base desires.

Drying off he decided to put this humiliation behind him, after all no one else needed to know. Carlisle would be sympathetic he was sure but his brothers would laugh, call him normal! He was not normal, he was extraordinary, everyone said so. He decided to make sure that no one knew what had happened and that it would never happen again. He would make sure Bella did not know the effect she had had on him. No he would remain aloof and not let her think she had won.

Edward decided to start over. They were going do what he had planned for the day before and this time Bella would not disobey he would give her no option. Deciding to hide all her clothes but the ones suitable for his plans he walked to Bella's bedroom.

It was at that point he noticed her heartbeat, or rather lack of it. Panicked he flung himself through the bedroom door, the sight that greeted him stopped him in his tracks. The bed was neatly made, it had clearly not been slept in. The wardrobe door was open and the inside was empty. The bathroom door was open and a towel was flung on the floor as though discarded in a very hasty fashion. There were no other scents. Of Bella there was no sign.

She had left him?

"NO" he roared, launching himself into the room, tearing it apart in his frustration. As he threw the bed into the wall where it shattered into a million pieces he noticed the bikini Bella had worn the day before.

Picking it up he fell to his knees.

"Why?" He cried out to the empty room. "Why couldn't you just love me? Why couldn't you accept me and give me what I need. Why am I not enough?"

Doubt and disbelief flowed through him. How had she broken through his control? Had he been right using mind control on her? It had felt so easy at the time, so correct. Edward had been sure he was doing the right thing.

Alice had assured him that Bella only needed time. That she would realise she still loved him and things would go back to the way they were before he left. When she was docile, loving and demure.

Yet as time had gone on Bella had been resistant to his mind control. Forcing him to use it more and more often to get her to behave. He began to doubt Alice's prediction and more importantly he had begun to doubt his own feelings. Edward began to wonder if he loved having Bella under his complete control more than he actually loved her.

Carlisle and Esme had both been shocked at first to hear of his use of mind control but had accepted it as necessary. They understood Edward needed Bella to accept him and submit to him. They had both quickly realised that it would help her be at peace with the marriage and her life as a human. Edward needed the perfect partner, willing to defer to him in every way. Both of his parents knew that while Bella was close to that, and had the added bonus of her silent mind, she needed help to become perfect for him. Controlling her mind helped her become that and as both Carlisle and Esme encouraged him to strive for perfection in every aspect of his existence, it was logical therefore that Bella be trained and controlled. They were happy to help with that. Although neither could understand Edwards reluctance to turn Bella. They just assumed he would "see reason" eventually.

Edward knew if he turned her he would lose her. Not that she would leave, no he would never have permitted that, but she would no longer be sweet, soft, warm and yielding. He knew Bella had wanted to be turned so that they could be equals, what she didn't understand was she would never be his equal. As a woman her place was beneath him. Both Carlisle and Esme understood a woman's place. The mind control helped Bella to see that too. Until he could guarantee her submission he could never risk turning her.

Alice had been only too happy to help, gaining her very own doll to dress up as she wished. Using vampiric mind control herself to get Bella's agreement to whatever she wanted. Alice had understood Edwards deep seated need to have Bella with him at all times, to keep her safe and protected, to ensure nothing ever happened to her. She understood as the others failed to do that Edward needed to control everything within his life to ensure he never became the monster he was afraid he could be. Bella was part of his life, it was that simple.

These thoughts rushed through his head as he surveyed the devastation in the room. Three times in the last few hours Bella had caused him to lose control in the most humiliating of ways. She had defied him too often, when he got her back he would make her sorry. Disobedience would not be tolerated, She would submit or she would never think for herself again. Edward smiled at the thought, perhaps that would be for the best.

"You can't have got far" he said to the room. Where would she go? He would call Alice to ask if she had seen anything.

He started to search the house for his phone, getting more and more frustrated as he couldn't find it. He did not want to have to head back to the main land to contact his family. His searches led him to the safe. Opening it to retrieve his passport, tickets and money, he found only the wedding and engagement rings he had given Bella.

"You ungrateful, selfish bitch" he roared as he ripped the safe from the wall, taking the wall down with it.

He flew through the house toward the beach, crashing through doors instead of opening them and stopping only when he saw the boat was gone. "You know how to drive a boat!" He screamed to the sky. "You never told me." What else hadn't she told him?

His fury exploded out of him. He was barely able to stop himself charging into the ocean. It was however a brilliantly sunny day and the water between the island and mainland was teaming with boats. He knew he could not risk being spotted so instead he raged into the trees behind the house and vented his wrath.

"How dare you leave me." He roared as he uprooted a tree. "How dare you make a fool of me." "How dare you ruin everything!" Each statement was accompanied by a tree or rock being destroyed. He raged in disbelief at the injustice of it, Was it too much to ask for his wife to be what he needed?

The destruction continued throughout the daylight hours. Edwards's beast refusing to be contained. As the sun began to dip toward the ocean he finally began to calm. Surveying the scene of devastation around him he was shocked and disgusted with himself. He had completely given himself to the monster inside, something he deplored in others. He was thoroughly ashamed. The fact he knew Esme would be extremely disappointed in his lack of self-control made it worse. His anger at Bella reached new heights and he promised his vengeance to the sky.

Slipping into the water he made his way quickly to the main land. It took him next to no time to locate and steal a car and mobile phone. As he sped out of the city he called home.

Carlisle barely managed to greet Edward before he hissed into the phone.

"Bella has escaped from me. Find Her."


	5. Chapter 5

**A.N. As always thanks for the reviews and enjoy. **

**I own nothing.**

Jasper watched from his bedroom window as the last of the wedding guests at Bella and Edwards drove away. He was filled with mixed feelings, happiness mostly but it was mixed with a small amount of unease and jealousy. Mainly though he felt relief. Relief that the couple and their guests had gone and he was free from the turbulent emotions of the last few hours. The entire evening had been full of every emotion imaginable. Happiness, sadness, reluctance, lust, and love were all the norm for weddings but the smug self-satisfaction from Edward and the abject terror from Bella as they left for their honeymoon were totally unexpected. As was the jealousy, that one however was from him and he couldn't understand it.

The blond vampire also found it very difficult to understand the emotions which had come from Bella over the course of the evening. They had gone from muted and almost none existent to raging in their clarity. Something had happened and he had no idea what.

Bella had suddenly become very alert and frightened, almost as though she had suddenly become aware of the situation she found herself in, but that was impossible, right, she had agreed to the marriage after all, it was what she wanted. But what she had suddenly become afraid of Jasper had no idea. As the evening had worn on her fear had morphed into absolute terror. It had almost brought him to his knees.

He had battled to keep it out of his thoughts not wanting to give Bella away but now he questioned the wisdom of that. Surely Edward had a right if not need to know his bride was so afraid. The southern gentleman in him could never betray a ladies secrets, his momma would turn in her grave if he did, and he reasoned that Bella would probably speak to Edward about it when they were alone.

The thought of Bella and Edward being alone suddenly made him feel jealous, angry and very uneasy. But why was he jealous?

"Alice, How do you see the honeymoon going? Bella seemed a little nervous and Edward didn't seem himself either? Was it just because they are going to try and have sex?" Jasper voiced some concerns to his diminutive wife as she entered their room.

Alice skipped over to him in her usual pixie fashion. Jasper couldn't help the smile at the sight of her. Her boundless energy and usually sunny disposition made her the perfect companion. He wrapped an arm round her shoulders and kissed her head fondly.

"They will be fine Jazzy. Don't worry. Edward has no intention of consummating the marriage. He just wants a nice relaxing break away from everyone's thoughts."

"He wants? What about what Bella wants?" Jasper asked incredulously. He had always known Edward was a selfish, self-centred bastard but he had thought he would put Bella first. He could feel that Alice was telling the truth but could hardly believe his ears.

"Oh please she will be happy enough? She will do what Edward wants just like she always has. She is happy when Edward is happy, you know this."

Happy was not how Jasper would describe Bella's feelings ever. He had known Edward could be domineering but never had he felt so worried or uneasy about his brother's relationship. He had always assumed it was because Bella was human and Edward was overprotective and prone to overreaction and that things would sort themselves out when she was a vampire.

"Will he change her when they come back then or while they are away? Isle Esme isn't really the best place for a new born." Jasper enquired, unsure why it mattered to him so much.

"He's not going to change her either. You know how he is. But Bella will be happy I am sure." Alice answered in a 'oh come on!' manner.

"He has to change her. It's what she wants and he promised the Volturi. Is he a complete moron? What have you seen Alice?" Jasper asked more firmly. He was picking up annoyance and deceit from her and wasn't happy about it.

"Listen Jazzy" she purred at him only to be cut off.

"Don't call me that. You know I hate it."

"But I like it, Jazzy." She said with a giggle, sticking her tongue out at him. "I haven't seen anything to give me cause for concern."

"That's not what I asked" he answered slowly, Why was Alice lying to him? Jasper could feel her lies and deceit as well as a large amount of annoyance. He'd never felt those directed at him before.

Jasper had always known Alice was manipulative and liked messing with people. He knew she used her visions to get things her own way. But he always felt she wouldn't take it too far, and certainly wouldn't want anyone hurt. Now he wasn't so sure. Everything felt so wrong.

"I honestly haven't seen anything to worry about Jasper. " Alice answered quietly. "I have seen very little since we got back from Volterra, at least as far as Bella is concerned. But I have seen her happy, I just don't know how it happens It's incredibly frustrating you know." She stamped her foot at the last sentence. Jasper didn't bite back a laugh.

"The rest of us manage well enough darlin, you'll survive." He said allowing his Texas accent to show through, he wanted to annoy her. Alice hated that accent just like she hated his jeans and his boots but that didn't stop him wearing them from time to time. He chuckled loudly as Alice huffed in frustration and stormed off. These spats of theirs were common, her rage was usually as quick to dissipate as it was to flare. He wasn't worried, she'd be back.

For the next few days Alice and Jasper danced around each other but barely spoke. It was strange that he didn't miss the closeness nor care as to why it was no longer there. In fact he felt relieved to have space from her incessant cheeriness. That in itself was odd. Jasper had always enjoyed his wife's perky nature but now it irritated. Something was very wrong but Alice seemed oblivious.

Jasper started to analyse the emotions he had picked up from the family in the past few months. Edward had had this almost obsessive, possessive desperation where Bella was concerned his emotions were controlled and determined. Jasper had always known the boy was a control freak. He was always reined in so tight. Like a coiled spring, it felt like he could snap at any moment and that would be explosive. In hindsight Jasper had never sensed any real love. He seriously doubted Edward loved anyone but Edward.

Bella was a puzzle, before they had left she had been laid back and happy. Taking each of them as they came. Jasper had hoped that she would chill Edward out and show him how to laugh at life and himself. But when they got back from Volterra everything was different. She had been feeling next to nothing, it was like she was asleep. The only strong emotions that he had got from her in months were at the wedding and they weren't exactly happy and contented and again no love. Why had she got herself married to someone she didn't love?

Or was he reading things wrong?

Jasper didn't think he was wrong.

Carlisle and Esme had been feeling happiness and excitement but that was laced with guilt. Carlisle especially seemed to feel guilty whenever Bella was around. Jasper knew deep down that if Carlisle felt guilty it was bad. But what was he guilty about? Esme was still old fashioned in her views, she allowed herself to be led and guided by her husband. If he told her it was ok she would believe him. Jasper wondered about them sometimes, he knew they were deeply in love but Esme always felt so small beside Carlisle. He was concerned that Esme allowed herself to be ruled too much. He wondered what would happen if she ever broke free.

Rose and Emmett were another pair whose emotions were often in sync. They were happy, loving and as lustful as ever. Emmett loved his life and found pleasure and happiness in just about everything. Rosalie had a small amount of underlying bitterness about what she had lost in becoming a vampire but mostly she was happy too. Neither of them had any really negative emotions towards Bella, Emmett got disappointed when she didn't fall over and Rose was jealous of her humanity. But neither was strong enough to cause concern.

Alice was something of a force of nature. She was never still, never seemed relaxed, constantly checking the future to see what was best, for the family, he had thought, but now wondered if it was just the best for Alice. Jasper had always found her exuberance endearing but now it felt forced as though she were afraid if she was still too long people would see the real her.

What, who was the real Alice? She had a large capacity for love and joy and her emotions had usually been primarily positive and good. There was always an underlying feeling of deceptiveness which Jasper always put down to her endless need to meddle. Looking back he realised her emotions recently had been predominantly deceptive and guilty. What was she up to? She kept so much hidden he began to wonder if he knew her at all.

Lastly there were his own feelings, confused for the most part, concerned and unhappy. Jasper realised he had been unhappy for a while but the close proximity to Alice's abundance of happiness stopped him from noticing. Why wasn't he happy? What had changed or had it just been a gradual thing? He was leaning toward gradual knowing, if he was honest, he had been growing apart from his wife for some time just unwilling to do anything about it. He realised that the things he had once so loved about Alice now just irritated. Even her happiness made him wonder who she was manipulating to feel that. He couldn't pinpoint a starting point for the change in his feelings, but remembered surprising himself by being annoyed with Alice for making Bella uncomfortable with the prom preparations that seemed so long ago. Something within him was now insisting he get to the bottom of his concerns and deal with Alice. He wondered if she would change her ways.

"Alice change, yeah that'll happen" he thought to himself as he walked out to join said pixie on the porch.

"So darlin, you ready to tell me what you have been up to and why you have been lying to me?" He asked as he wrapped his arms around her, not really to comfort but to prevent her from evading him.

"I don't know what you mean Jazzy" she purred at him.

"Don't treat me like I'm stupid Alice" Jasper growled in response. "I know you are doing something you feel guilty about and I know you are lying to me right now."

She tried to twist out of his arms. "Let me go Jasper. How dare you restrain me" Her voice rose and he knew it was her way of asking for help. She was panicked. The rest of the family joined them on the porch.

"Don't even try it Alice, you aren't going anywhere till you give me some answers. And you know that panic you are feeling that's just like Bella felt as she left for her honeymoon. So I will ask you one last time. What are you up to?"

"Bella was panicking about the honeymoon? Why would she panic?" Rosalie asked with genuine concern.

"I don't know why" Jasper growled "but I am guessing Alice does. So spill darlin, NOW!"


	6. Chapter 6

**A.N. As always thanks for the reviews and enjoy. **

**I own nothing.**

Alice had spent the days after the wedding with mixed feelings of trepidation and frustration. Her visions had been cloudy of late, not seeming to focus on any single outcome. She had tried numerous scenarios to get a clearer picture, but nothing was forthcoming. All she knew for certain was that a change was coming. And she wasn't happy about it.

When Jasper had asked her about Bella's honeymoon she found it annoying. She really had no idea what would happen, other than Edwards's determination to keep Bella 'pure as the driven snow.' Alice didn't necessarily agree with that but then again she had seen Bella as a vampire once upon a time and had no reason to doubt that had changed.

Alice's frustration at not being able to predict the future was growing with each day. She realised she relied totally on her ability to see what would happen, but wouldn't change that for anything. Why would she when you can see what will happen and change it for the greater good. If she happened to benefit from that so much the better. She knew Jasper was finding her meddling annoying but really couldn't understand it. After all thanks to her gift they were all very, very rich. They had the best of everything. The best designer clothes, the best, fastest cars, fabulous homes, they could travel the world and stay in luxury. Why Bella couldn't appreciate that she would never understand. Bella seemed so content to settle for mediocre. Why when she could have wonderful? Who didn't want the best clothes, cars and houses?

She had been furious when Jasper had laughed at her struggles with her gift. Then letting his stupid red-neck accent show through. He sounded so common and lower class. Alice worked so hard to refine and sculpt him into the perfect husband, fielding his objections before they happened to get her own way. When they met he had been course and unrefined. He preferred tatty jeans and boots to classy clothes. He spoke with that accent that made him sound slow. She had educated him in all things and he had improved greatly, but every so often he seemed to take great delight in displaying his common beginnings. He did it deliberately to annoy her she knew. Why did he have to try to undermine her? She had worked hard to get all of the Cullen's up to her standard? Edward had already been close, although he thought he was perfect.

Walking out onto the porch surrounding the house and watching the wind move through the trees, Alice laughed to herself. Manipulating the all-knowing Edward into doing what she wanted was one of her favourite pastimes. Over the last fifty years she had gotten him to do almost everything she wanted. He never dreamed that he only really saw the visions she wanted him to see, or that they could be altered to suit her purpose. He always just assumed that because he can read minds no one can deceive him. Alice loved stringing him along and playing with him. He never even questioned her. Having him on side meant she effectively ruled the family. A situation she was more than happy with.

Lately though her visions had shown that changing, Jasper becoming less malleable and leading the others to question her.

So far Edward had been so obsessed with Bella that he hadn't noticed these visions and just believed what he wanted to. Alice couldn't really believe he was naïve enough to think he could keep Bella under his thrall and human for the next fifty / sixty plus years. That seemed cruel even to her. She just knew he would give in in the end either through pressure from the family or his own weakness. Bella would forgive her little meddling in the end. Because Bella did love Edward, of that Alice was certain. Edward had to be on her side, it was pivotal in keeping the family where she wanted them, and therefore keeping herself happy. After all why was she given this gift if not to benefit from it?

Alice had acknowledged many years ago that she didn't love Jasper the way he loved her. What she did love was the control she had over him and knowing she had this fierce warrior as her protector, and at her beck and call. She had always known she would need a protector, she was no fighter. Alice even admitted that Edward may have been influenced to control Bella by her control of Jasper.

Being with the Cullen's gave her everything she needed, money, protection and a family. She did see them as a family and she did love them, as much as she loved anyone. She cared for Bella too and wanted her to be happy, as long as it didn't affect Alice's happiness. Alice had admitted long ago she would never love anyone more than herself.

The thought that Bella might be suffering by Edwards and admittedly her treatment rarely occurred to Alice. She did feel a small amount of guilt but was unconcerned in the main. In the end it was for the best. Bella just needed time to realise she still loved Edward and make Alice's family complete. She could hardly wait to have her best friend back so she could take her shopping and dress her up again, it was such fun.

Thoughts of her best friend led to thoughts about the rest of her family. Rose and Emmett were so easy to steer her way it was almost not worth her time. Rosalie occasionally argued over clothes but soon shut up when reminded how Emmett would respond. Those two were completely ruled by sex.

Carlisle and Esme were more of a challenge. Carlisle especially did not like to do anything underhand. The control being exercised over Bella made him uneasy but he had been made to realise by Edward and Alice it was necessary for the time being and that Bella would forgive them all and be happy in the end. Grateful even Edward imagined, once she realised how lucky she was to have him. From the few visions Alice had seen, Bella was not grateful to Edward. But then again if he stuck to his decisions it wouldn't matter either way. Esme was just happy to have her favourite son in love and settling down. She could see how Bella gave him what he needed and was content to go along with whatever he and Carlisle agreed was right. If she felt unease at controlling Bella she never said, but she believed everyone would be happy in the end so that made Esme happy.

Alice felt rather than saw Jasper come out to join her. Scanning the future to see what he wanted she could see nothing. As he wrapped his arms around her she suppressed a shudder. Jasper no longer held any attraction for her physically and she was fast losing any affection she had for him as well. But he was useful to have around so she smiled and purred at him when asked why she was lying.

Jasper's aggressive response startled Alice, she searched for a vision of how to get out of the situation but nothing helped. Suddenly her future was drastically different, no family, no control and no Jasper. Panicking, she loudly rebuked him in the hope the family would take her side.

And yet her visions didn't change much.

Frantically Alice scanned the future for the best way to respond. She began to feel compliant, willing, and comfortable and knew Jasper was effecting her emotions to get her to talk. The visions swam before her eyes but none were reassuring or helpful. She could see she was running out of options.

Alice looked at the ground in defeat. "Edward has decided that Bella will never be changed and that they will never consummate their marriage. He plans to move away just the two of them when they get back. He thinks this will keep her safe from the Volturi."

"Why the hell would he do that? Is he a complete moron? That's just cruel. I can't imaging Bella is very happy with it." Rosalie stated.

"Oh come on, he's not being cruel just trying to do what's best for Bella" Alice countered

"Please he only cares about himself." Rose sneered at Alice "Since when does he get to decide anyway? Doesn't Bella get a say in her own life?"

"There's more to it than that though, isn't there darlin?" Jasper drawled menacingly.

Alice scanned the future again and found it was terrifying. For the first time in her existence nothing could change the outcome. She felt heartbroken at the knowledge she was about to lose everything she had worked so hard for. She was desperate to save things, trying something she had never really done before. She told the truth.

"He has been using our thrall ability to keep her docile so she will accept this. He intends to keep her under his control for her entire human life." She continued hesitantly, picking her words with care. "He has been doing so for a while now."

"Exactly how long?" Jasper asked quietly his eyes glittered dangerously, he already knew the answer.

"On the way back from Volterra she told him she didn't want him back and wanted to try things with the wolf. Of course that was impossible as she had promised to become a vampire so he dazzled her as she calls it." Alice whispered.

"That's why her emotions have been so muted, it doesn't explain the sudden panic though" Jasper said almost to himself.

"Actually it kind of does" Emmett said thoughtfully. "You once told me Jazz that when under thrall humans can remember almost nothing of what is going on. If she has been under his control for months and suddenly became aware at the wedding it would have been horrific."

"Imagine coming too in a wedding dress, at a wedding you didn't want, to a man you probably hate. I'd be terrified and I can fight it, She is human and has no chance against him" Rosalie said continuing Emmett's train of thought.

"Oh please you make it sound like he is doing something wrong." Alice yelled. "He's not hurting her!"

"HE IS!" Jasper roared. Alice shrank away from him with a terrified squeak. "He is abusing her, robbing her of every thought and memory and completely controlling her. It is obscene!"

"For god's sake!" Alice snapped "I have been using it as well. Since we first met her. I used it to get her to do what I wanted, shopping etc. It never hurt her. I'd never hurt her. she's my best friend."

"Edward had specific ideas as to what he wanted her to wear, I was just helping smooth things for her." She continued in a more placating tone seeing the disgust in Jaspers eyes.

"Keep tellin yourself that darlin if you want to, but we know the truth. She was just a toy to you like the rest of us. Now what else?" He growled.

Alice flipped through another vision. She looked at Carlisle and Esme thinking "If I am going down you are too." That look told Jasper all he needed to know.

"You two as well" Jasper asked distain dripping from every word "What did you get out of it?"

"Oh they got to please the golden boy, they did it because he asked and he can do no wrong" Rosalie sneered venomously at the three who stood looking ashamed. "Between the three of you, you have allowed Edward to gain complete control over that girl. He is a controlling, obsessive, psycho. He will make her life a living hell, no one deserves that. I am disgusted with you."

"Carlisle. You will get them back here now. You make him realise how wrong this is or so help me I will." Jasper demanded with more authority than they had ever seen from him. "And you will turn her like you promised then he can't do it anymore."

"She is Edwards mate, it is up to him to turn her." Carlisle answered sounding braver than he felt.

"Oh please Carlisle." Rosalie interrupted "Do you really think that self – righteous bastard will ever admit he is wrong."

"I will speak to him. You are right this needs to stop." Carlisle said quietly.

Jasper didn't believe Carlisle for one second. But before he could reply the phone rang. They all followed Carlisle indoors while he answered it,

"Hel.."

"Bella has escaped from me. Find her"


	7. Chapter 7

**A.N. As always thanks for the reviews, your response has been great. Enjoy. **

**I own nothing.**

The ten hour flight gave Bella plenty of time to think. She was able to plan, discard and plan again until she didn't know what she was going to do. She spent the majority of the time going over and over the past few months, or at least what she could remember, and trying to decipher a reason behind Edwards behaviour and if she could have done anything about it. Because he's a psycho didn't seem a good enough excuse.

After a few hours she decided worrying and over-thinking things was not going to help at all. The air hostess came round and Bella asked for a pillow and blanket. She also asked for a hot chocolate in the hope it would help her to sleep. Bella had almost ordered whisky but not being a drinker she didn't know how it would affect her. The last thing she wanted was to have her wits impaired when she landed and get caught by the Cullen's for being stupid.

Bella eventually drifted off into a restless sleep. Luckily there were few other people in the first class sections so when the nightmare came no one was disturbed. The Edward of her nightmare had tracked her down and somehow reached New York before her. He was waiting to drag her back to his family and no matter how loudly she screamed no one in the packed airport even looked her way. In her dream his eyes were blood red. He told her he had killed her father as punishment for running off and would kill everyone she held dear if she tried it again. "You are mine Bella, remember that, you will always be mine." He whispered in her ear.

She awoke with a start. She was in a cold sweat, absolutely terrified. She could almost feel Edwards cold breath on her cheek. She could hear the words echoing in her ear. Looking around she tried to get her bearings and calm her racing heartbeat. God she felt like he was right there with her.

She realised in that moment that Edward saw her as a possession now. She doubted he loved her at all anymore. Tears silently fell down her cheeks as she mourned again the relationship they had had. It seemed like a life time ago. What had happened to the boy she had once loved so completely? What had happened to the love he had felt for her? Or had he always been like this but had just hidden it better? Had he ever really loved her at all? Bella suspected that it had always been this way. In her heart she knew he had been controlling and possessive even then but she had loved him and put it down to his human upbringing and the fact she was a human in a vampire's world. She had been so naïve.

Breakfast on the plane was different to the ones she had had recently. No piled high plates and lectures on healthy eating. No neurotic vampire watching her every move. The food wasn't great but it was the best meal she'd had in a long time. Her nerves were starting to kick in and she had to force herself to eat. Knowing she would be landing soon Bella was determined to use every advantage she could. Not being hungry would help.

At this point she also bought some of the very strong, musky perfume she usually avoided like the plague. She never really liked the over powering scent of perfume, preferring lighter, fresher scents. Besides Edward had always said her natural scent was beautiful enough so she never wore them. He also said that bought perfumes were too strong to their, vampires, sense of smell and very unpleasant. That was what she was hoping for now.

In what felt like no time at all, the plane was descending into New York. Bella quickly disembarked and made her way through to the baggage claim. Once she had her case she slipped into the toilets to freshen up and change clothes. She sprayed the perfume she had bought on the plane onto her pulse points at her wrists and her throat. She put on what felt like a lot, it made her sneeze, she knew that others around her would smell it. But she had to try to mask her scent until she got away from the airport. She then sprayed some onto her hair before tying it up.

Making her way back out Bella tried to stay with the crowd as much as possible. Knowing she had to move fast she went to the atm's lining a wall and withdrew as much as she could from Edwards's card. Once she had a rather hefty sum of cash she smiled to herself. She didn't feel like she was being watched but that was no reason to dawdle. Making her way to the shops she quickly bought a disposable phone and top up card. Passing a coffee stand she got a coffee and muffin and sat for a few minutes and watched the crowds while she planned her next move. No one approached her and it didn't look like anyone even noticed her, which was good right, maybe the Cullen's weren't looking for her yet. She started to feel hopeful, free.

Emboldened by her new found freedom, Bella decided to send Edward a message. She smiled to herself and made her way out to the taxi's.

Putting her bags in the trunk of the taxi Bella smiled at the driver. He was fat with blue eyes and stunk of BO. Yep he was definitely human. Feeling reassured she explained where she wanted to go.

"I need to find a divorce lawyer please. I don't know any here. Can you recommend one?" Bella knew doing this now was a risk but she knew the Cullen's could trace her to New York so it made more sense to her to deal with it there. Knowing she would need to prove her identity it seemed sensible to do that where they already knew she was.

"Sure thing" he said as they drove off. Looking out of the windows Bella didn't see anyone she recognised. She tried to see if they were being followed but couldn't tell. Trying to relax she realised this was her first trip to New York. With a wry smile she thought about all the things she would have wanted to see but wouldn't. "Maybe next time."

Twenty minutes later she was walking up to the young female receptionist of the small law firm of Stevens and Hall on the third floor of an office block.

"Hello. My name is Isabella Swan. I realise this is somewhat unorthodox but I am only in New York today and am in dire need of a lawyers services. Would I be able to see someone today? I am happy to wait." Bella smiled for once glad Alice always insisted on ridiculously expensive designer clothes. Money talks and might just help get this done.

"Of course Miss Swan, Please have a seat while I see when Mr Stevens is available. Can I offer you a coffee?"

"Very professional" Bella thought. "No thank you I'm fine for the moment." She replied as she sat down in the waiting area and picked up a magazine. Her heart was in her mouth. She was taking back control of her life and the thought was both terrifying and exhilarating. Filing for an annulment would piss Edward off no end. Not perhaps the most sensible move but it would certainly make a statement. Bella Swan was not going to be manipulated any more.

Half an hour later Bella was seated in front of Mr Stevens explaining why she wanted an annulment. "I was pressured by his family into the marriage, I never wanted it. On our honeymoon he turned abusive so I took my first opportunity to leave. I left him last night and flew straight here. I don't want anything from him. No money or property, nothing. I just want to be free of him."

"I see" Mr Stevens answered. "I understand that you want this in a hurry as you are only in town today."

"Yes please, if possible." Bella said. She really didn't want to have to stay too long.

"Very well." The lawyer continued "I can have the initial paperwork drawn up in a couple of hours, if you can return to sign them. If you can give me a contact address so I can send you the final documentation."

"I don't have a contact address at present." Bella stuttered seeing a flaw in her plan.

"No matter. it just needs to be the address of someone you trust to receive your documents."

Bella thought about her options, not wanting to give her parents details as she didn't want them involved. Then it struck her.

"Send them care of Sam Ulley at this address" she said as she wrote the address down. Sam would be safe from Edward and would hang onto it for her she was sure. Bella gave Mr Stevens all the other details he needed and paid for the work.

Leaving his office, Bella pulled out the phone she had bought and headed for a small park nearby to make her calls.

"Hi Sam, it's Bella, please don't hang up." She pleaded when Sam answered his phone. "I don't have a lot of time and I need to talk to you. I left him Sam, he had been controlling me somehow. I never wanted to marry him, hell I didn't want him back."

"What exactly does this have to do with me Bella? You surely don't expect us to hide you here." Sam asked with hatred dripping from every word.

"I don't want your protection for me, I don't want you to fight my battles for me. I know that I got myself into this mess. But for what it's worth I was brain washed. I don't blame you for hating me either." Bella said quietly into the phone. "I need to ask the pack to keep an eye on my dad. I think Edward might try and force me back to him by threatening Charlie."

Sam was quiet for a moment "Ok Bella, we'll keep an eye on your dad. Thanks for the heads up that Cullen will be on the war path. What did you ever see in him? What are you doing now?"

"I really don't know Sam, looking back I think I was blind to what he really was and I don't just mean a vampire. He is a control freak and cruel." she replied "As for what I am doing now, I don't know. I'm just winging it. I have filed for divorce. I put you down as a postal address for the final papers. Sorry I needed a safe place."

"And how do I get them to you?" He asked indignantly.

"You don't. I'll be back some time. Just hang on to them for me."

"Can I contact you on this number?" Sam asked surprising her with the concern in his voice.

"No Sam I will probably be throwing it away when I am done making calls. I'll call you in a few weeks if that's ok though." She paused for a moment "How's Jake?"

"He's ok. He was bad for a while but he …. He imprinted Bella. On a friend of yours I believe. Angela Weber."

"Angela! She's a great girl. Wow that's.. That's great, I'm really happy for him and her." Her voice cracked as the tears started to flow "I did love him you know" she whispered. "I am so glad he's happy, I never meant to hurt him the way I did. I just couldn't fight Edward off."

"I know that now." He said quietly.

"Maybe next time I call I can speak to him, apologise. I owe you all an apology I know. Thanks for this Sam I really appreciate it. I'll call you ok." She needed to get off the phone now.

"Ok Bella, take care"

"You take care too Sam, say hi to Emily. Bye"

"Bye"

She hung up and allowed the tears free rein. It hurt so much that she was losing Jacob all over again. Knowing he was imprinted helped, and on Angela, wow. Knowing that if Edward hadn't come back she would no doubt have introduced them made her laugh, almost.

Pulling herself together, Bella dialled the number of the next person she needed to speak to. She was dreading this call.

"Hello"

"Hi Dad"

**A.N. I know next to nothing about the American legal system so ask your indulgence at the speed and way things are happening.**


	8. Chapter 8

**A.N. As always thanks for the reviews, your response has been great. Enjoy. **

**I own nothing.**

"Hey Bells, how are you? How's the honeymoon going? Edward treating you right?"

"I'm fine dad, good in fact. Look I can't talk for long but I have to tell you something." Bella paused to gather her thoughts. "I have left Edward dad, he changed really suddenly, he became controlling and nasty. He never hurt me or raised a hand to me but he did scare me. Any way I have left him and filed for an annulment."

"Shit Bells. Are you ok? Where are you? I knew he was intense with you but you always claimed to love him and that he loved you." He asked sounding worried.

"Yes honestly dad I am fine. But before you ask I am not ready to come home yet and no I am not telling you where I am going. I am in New York just now, but not for long. I am safe and well and actually happy or at least getting there. I just need some time to get my head together. I am going to travel for a while."

Charlie Swan was gobsmacked. His daughter seemed to be back to her old self again almost overnight. She seemed confident and determined. She had always been so together he could never understand how she allowed Edward to rule her so completely. One thing his daughter had never been was a push over, she had been standing on her own two feet far longer than Charlie was really happy with thanks to Renée and her permanent adolescence. He had always known she could look after herself though. So when he had seen the signs of domestic abuse early on in her relationship with Edward, he had been horrified. But she refused to hear a bad word against him. Charlie really hated that boy but he refused to lose Bella over it so he kept his feelings to himself. Hoping that one day she would see sense. Praying he would be able to protect her if she didn't. To hear she had left the kid filled him with pride. Annulment eh? He quietly laughed at that, he always knew that boy was a pussy. "Where are you going to travel to? Come home. You can have all the time you need there. I won't let him near you Bella I promise, you can take out a restraining order. I'll file it"

Bella almost laughed out loud at that. Edward respect a restraining order! The thought was ludicrous. "I know you can dad but I want time alone to think. I'm not telling you where I am going because I don't know myself. But I will call you, often. Please believe me, I am fine, better than fine in fact, I am free."

"Ok, Ok. I can hear you have made up your mind. I may not like it but it's your choice. To be honest Bells it's just great to hear you so.. I don't know.. opinionated." Charlie laughed. "Just promise you'll be safe ok. How do I contact you?"

"You don't Dad." Bella announced with determination. "I know you would never tell Edward anything, but he is a really sneaky bastard and trust me he will find out anything you know. I will call you as often as you need. But I will call you. I will be safe, trust me."

"I do trust you Bells, completely, but if you are afraid of him, come home. I can protect you."

Bella was so tempted to agree, she was afraid of Edward and terrified of what would happen if he found her. But knew in her heart Charlie could not protect her, not really. Edward did not believe the law applied to him and in so many ways he was right. Although he and his family needed to avoid attention. And breaking the law or kidnap would certainly draw unwanted attention. It might be enough of a threat to keep him away. Then again, perhaps not. Besides it was not fair to put someone else in the middle of this. No she had to do this on her own. That flame of determination which had lit up on Isle Esme, engulfed her again. She would do this.

"I can't Dad, I'm sorry." Bella sighed. "I am not afraid of him, not really" she lied "He never hurt me, not physically. I just want time away from him till the annulment is through and he has had a chance to cool off. I know I can't hide forever and I will come back but when I am ready, He ruled my every thought Dad, I need space to know my own mind again."

Charlie sighed, resigned. He didn't like it, not one little bit, but he knew there was nothing he could do about it. Bella was an adult and could make her own decisions. It was good to hear her speaking her mind and being determined. He couldn't force her to come home. He also knew that if he decided to go get her she would be long gone. If he kicked up a fuss she would just not call him. No he had to let her go.

"Right, well promise me, if you need help, money, anything, you will call. If you get scared you will come back. Or go to the local police and they will contact me, keep you safe till I can get there. Promise me Bella." Charlie pleaded.

"I promise Dad. I'll call you again in a few days ok. Love you."

"Love you too Bells. Love you too."

Bella hung up the phone. That had gone better than expected. She had expected her dad to insist she come home, or that he would come and get her. But she never expected he would let her go off on her own. Then again he could hardly force her.

She was suddenly happy.

She was free!

Not only was she determined to do this, to leave Edward and stay away. She was going to take her life back and she was going to live it.

"Right next job, car!"

Bella asked a couple who were walking their dog in the park where the nearest place to buy a car was. After receiving directions she took the 10 minute walk to the used car place. Looking around there were cars of every shape, size and colour and Bella immediately knew she was completely out of her depth.

"Shit, how the hell do I do this?" Bella thought in panic. She slowly walked around the rows of cars trying to decide what she needed. Reliable and safe that's what her dad would insist on. Flashy, fast and new was what Edward would demand. But what did she want? Bella decided her dad had the better idea. But would add economical as well.

Bella was drawn to a newer, shinier version of her beloved red tank from home. Looking at the green truck with a nostalgic smile another memory came to her. Edward insisting he drive her everywhere, after her truck died. She had no need of a car when he was at her beck and call he had said. The extravagant gesture had made her so uncomfortable and yet she had agreed so easily. How Edward kept her under his control even then was terrifying. She had been completely at his mercy. What had he done to her in those periods she had absolutely no memory of? And she admitted those periods were the most prevalent. Bella remembered the day her truck died. She and Edward had argued again. She had wanted to go to visit Angela. Edward didn't want to let her out of his sight, he tried to stop her but her dad had been watching so he had to back off. She had driven away with him glaring in the mirror. When she got home he had given her a long, arduous lecture on how he needed to be with her at all times. He couldn't keep her safe if she ventured out alone. The next day her truck was dead. Had Edward sabotaged it a second time? Jacob was long gone by then so she had been stranded, having to beg lifts all the time. Then Edward refusing to take her places as they weren't suitable or he needed her with him. Yep he'd sabotaged it alright. Because it put her right where he wanted her. It was surprising he had left it that long.

Running her hand along the sleek paint work Bella was tempted. She had loved that old truck. This one would be reliable and safe. Edward of course would hate it, so that was a bonus. A truck was not a very lady like car, most unsuitable for his wife. She could almost hear him.

"Ha, no. Soon to be ex-wife." Bella laughed to herself, getting this truck would be a real "fuck you."

That thought made Bella stop short. She was still letting him influence her, even if she was inclined to do the opposite to spite him. Reluctantly she sighed and turned away. As much as she would love this truck it wasn't going to be economical and she needed that too. She wasn't going to let Edward affect her decisions in any way, not any more.

Walking further she noticed the salesman watching her. Groaning she saw him start winding his way through the parked cars towards her. He looked like a typical sales man, suit, tie, middle aged, slightly balding with a middle aged spread, could probably sell ice to Eskimo's.

"Great just what I need, I'll probably get talked into buying a Ferrari." She thought to herself as she tried to avoid eye contact. Bella honestly had no idea how to handle this situation. As he approached he smiled warmly.

"Can I help you there miss?" He enquired.

Deciding to take the bull by the horns Bella answered "I need a reliable, economical car. I am going on a road trip and need to get about safely and not pay a fortune for fuel. I would also like something fun."

"You like the truck?" he asked eyeing her speculatively. "It's a great vehicle, but not exactly economical. Safe though certainly."

"I do like it, I had an ancient one but it died recently. However I don't think it's really what I am looking for today." Bella replied surprising herself with the confidence in her voice.

Looking her up and down thoughtfully he could see she didn't know anything about cars. She had nice clothes but didn't look comfortable. She looked on edge, nervous. She liked the truck, so she liked sturdy but wanted fun. He could see she was breaking free, but from what, he had no idea. "Follow me, I think I have just the thing."

They made their way over to a shiny, black, VW Beetle convertible, and Bella loved it on sight.

"It is four years old, one previous owner. Low miles. Economical on fuel, safe, reliable and fun." He said with a grin. "My daughter has one herself, in pink."

Bella walked round it slowly, her excitement building. "It's perfect!" she announced impetuously, grinning like a loon. "I'll take it."

Three hours later Bella was driving south away from New York. Her luggage in the trunk, the top down, CD blasting. Looking up to the sky she screamed in joy, she was free and it didn't look like it would rain either.

Bella had done some shopping after finalizing the purchase of the car. First thing had been some music she liked, not just the Edward approved tunes she usually listened to. You see even though it was an I-pod he could still hear it. Edward had refined tastes in music and felt Bella should be the same. Mostly she did like the same as him, but sometimes she wanted something different. This was one of those times. When she got the chance she would update her I-pod but for now CD's would do. She had nearly squealed in glee when she spotted 'Dire Straits – Alchemy' in the store. Smiling at the memories of her mother dancing, playing air guitar and singing in the front room to 'Romeo and Juliet,' or insisting on pitch black and silence as the only way to truly appreciate 'Sultans of Swing'. Driving in her new car, on her way to taking her life back seemed to Bella to be just as good.

Next she went book shopping. Bella resisted the temptation to buy 'Wuthering Heights' again and couldn't suppress the shudder when she saw 'Jamaica Inn.' Instead she headed for the newer, best sellers list. Picking three from the top ten. If she was starting over she was going to do it properly. Broadening all her horizons, including what she read.

Finally she bought some clothes. Deciding to be practical and not discard all of the clothes with her purely because Edward liked them and Alice bought them, she chose a few pairs of jeans and some t-shirts for now. On the way out of the shop Bella spotted a black leather biker style jacket. It was soft leather and beautiful. Although she had promised herself Edward would no longer affect her decisions she couldn't resist this particular "fuck you." Edward had told her only cheap whores wore leather.

Bella drove for a few hours. She was simply enjoying the feeling of being in control of herself. The heady feeling of freedom was intoxicating and the smile on her face was beaming. While she knew this might not last, she knew she was running away. Bella was determined to live as much as possible. She wanted to become stronger, to be someone she liked and respected. That way when she did see Edward again, and in her heart she knew she would, she would be strong enough, confident enough to say no. she would not lose herself again.

As the sun began to dip in the sky Bella found a motel for the night. She paid cash for the room knowing she had to try and stay off the grid as much as possible. After eating a quick meal of burger and fries she showered then settled down to watch some TV, something else Edward had disapproved of.

The annulment papers had been ready when Bella got back to Mr Stevens' office. All she had had to do was sign. Mr Stevens told her Edward would receive the papers within a week. It was over, she was single again. She had wanted to jump and skip with joy, she felt euphoric. As it was she could not keep still sitting in the office, her leg kept twitching as she practically bounced in her seat. Upon leaving the office she sent Sam a text warning him when Edward should receive the papers and to keep an ear out for the scream of rage, almost wishing she could be a fly on the wall when that happened. Toys would most definitely be thrown from the pram.

With a chuckle to herself at that thought, Bella snuggled down into the soft bed and closed her eyes. She had taken the first steps down the long road to getting herself back. She knew Edward wouldn't give up without a fight, but here and now she was free. It felt good.


	9. Chapter 9

**A.N. As always thanks for the reviews, your response has been great. Enjoy. **

**I own nothing.**

When Bella woke the next morning the euphoria at making her "declaration of independence" had worn off only to be replaced by mild panic. As the reality of her situation sank in she began to realise the enormity of the task ahead of her. Not only did she have to stay one step ahead of a future seeing vampire, but also her mind reading ex who may or may not be psychologically unstable, She was leaning toward very, and determined to track her down at all costs. She also had to avoid human predators and other dangerous situations.

Now, looking back with 20/20 hindsight, she was worried. Was provoking Edward with the annulment really a good idea? It had felt so right at the time. She knew he would blow a gasket but then again he would be furious anyway because she had left. What would he be more angry over? Bella knew Edward would see the annulment as a gross insult as well as a vast humiliation. How could she do this when he had given her so much? She could almost hear the plaintive wail. She knew he would be determined to get her back and teach her a lesson.

"Yes it was a good idea, it was the right thing to do." Bella told herself. He needed to know she was not just lost to him physically but mentally as well. However it had happened Bella knew in her heart the 'dazzling' no longer worked. She knew Edward would never control her again through that although she admitted there were other ways he could gain control over her, she just had to hope the other Cullen's would draw the line at those. But she knew there would be consequences. Of that she had no doubt.

Add to all that Bella knew she also needed to "get a life," she was going on this road trip to find herself and hopefully to live, not just exist. She wanted to feel alive. Perhaps that would be a harder task than avoiding Edward.

She did have some things working in her favour though. Namely Edward's arrogance and snobbery. Edward would never believe she was going on a road trip alone, he would assume it was a lie and that she was holed up somewhere. He wouldn't consider looking in the places she would be staying as he considered them beneath him and therefore her. Also in her favour was the fact that Alice's visions hadn't been working too well or so she said. Bella could only hope it remained that way.

After a quick breakfast Bella was in her car and driving again. She had no specific destination in mind, she just headed in the direction she fancied most, drove till lunch then headed off again in the direction that looked best. If she passed something of interest she would stop. She would find a motel in the evening and stop for the night. Then continue the same way the next day. She wanted to make as many last minute decisions as possible, just in case Alice could pick something up.

Bella travelled like this for a couple of weeks. She thoroughly enjoyed the sense of freedom she got from having no fixed timetable or decisions to make. Just going wherever the wind took her was liberating and fascinating in equal measure. She did stay in the same place for more than one night when she needed to wash her clothes. The aimless wandering was a balm to her soul. It gave her peace to grow, to be herself again.

She had called her Dad after a week and learned what she expected to hear. Edward was furious and looking for her. Sam had said the same. Apparently Edward had even tried to cross the boundary line thinking Bella was being hidden in La Push. Sam had gleefully told Bella that the entire pack had been cheerfully discussing ways in which to rip Edward apart when he tried to cross into the res, Edward upon hearing their thoughts had changed his mind. No surprise there. Although he had yelled that the wolves had broken the treaty by stealing his wife. He had run away. He appeared to be ignoring the fact Bella had been given an annulment. Sam said her papers had arrived as well and that the whole pack knew it. That will have pleased Edward no end.

Bella had spoken to Sam again two days ago and been told that Edward was no longer in Forks. So they could only assume he was looking for her. As far as the wolves could tell the others were still there although they weren't totally sure. The Cullens were keeping a very low profile. Especially since Charlie had let it slip about the annulment, the whole town was now talking about how Edward was not man enough to keep her. While most surmised there was more to it, the people of the town were all enjoying the soap opera that had unfolded.

She had briefly spoken to Jacob too. While things had been strained at first, he seemed to accept her apology. Bella knew that their friendship would never be the same again though.

The past two weeks had been just what Bella had needed. She had got things clear in her own mind. She had thought about her future. Realistically the safest thing would be for her to be turned, but by whom? It was painfully obvious Edward would not turn her, but would that be true for the rest of the Cullens? Could she trust them enough anyway? At the moment she felt the answer to that was a resounding no. Who else could she go to? The Denalis? Even if she could find them, would they support the Cullens? From the little she knew of them her instincts told her they would. The Volturi, that thought made her shudder. Would they turn her or just kill her? Would she be forced to live their lifestyle? No the Volturi were definitely not an option as far as Bella was concerned. So what then? Did she try to find some random nomad and hope they didn't drain her? Bella shelved that thought. The time would come to worry about it, but for now she wanted to concentrate on enjoying human experiences.

Walking down a street, munching on her breakfast, one morning two weeks after setting out on her voyage of discovery. Bella saw a help wanted sign in the window of a tattooists shop. Stopping intrigued, she read the sign. Seeing a man on the other side of the window watching her with an amused smirk and a raised eyebrow, she got suddenly offended. Why would he assume she couldn't work there, because she didn't have tattoos? Deciding to push her boundaries even more she walked into the shop.

"Looking for a job are you?" the man with black pony tailed hair and tattoos covering almost every square inch of visible flesh asked. "I have to say, you aren't really what I had in mind."

"Oh and why's that?" Bella asked imperiously. Taking a better look at him she noticed the mischievous sparkle in his blue eyes. He looked about six foot tall and of a wiry, lean build, not skinny and not muscle bound yet he screamed strength. He had piercing's in his nose, eyebrow and tongue that she could see, instinctively she knew there were others. He only had one in each ear though which to Bella was unexpected. He had arms and neck covered in tattoos, some vibrantly colourful and others intricate and ornate. She was intrigued and really wanted a closer look.

Smirking cockily while raising a questioning eyebrow at her tone, he looked her up and down slowly and confidently then answered. "Well…. I was wanting a tattooist to help me out with the shop. But hey, if you are an artist sorry for misjudging you. If you want to audition I have some blank skin on my ass somewhere you can have a go at."

Bella blushed and swallowed.

"Figured" he muttered turning away.

The flame of determination surged through her once again. Why this mattered she wasn't sure. But she trusted her feelings.

"I'm not a tattooist no." She said confidently. "But I am not an idiot either. I can answer the phone, make appointments, man the desk, clean, make coffee and run errands, even help with the books. I am not planning on staying in town long so as soon as the right one shows up, or if I'm no good, I'll leave no notice or hard feelings. Pay me by the day if you want, cash and I don't really care how much."

"How old are you princess?" He asked as he slowly turned back toward her.

"19"

"Got ID?"

"Yes but I'd rather stay off the books if possible."

He walked over to her and stroked his hand on her cheek gently. "You running away princess? What from?"

"Psycho ex and a bad break up" she answered looking him straight in the eye. "He doesn't want to accept it's over and I'm moving on. Won't stop pestering. So I left to let things cool down."

"He likely to turn up here?" He asked not moving his hand.

Bella shuddered. He felt it and looked at her questioningly. "I hope not because no one knows where I am, including me. But if he does, no good will come of it."

"Where are you staying?"

"I have a room in the motel down the street. I only booked for last night but I should be able to stay on."

"Ok" he said turning toward the back of the shop where there was an office / kitchen. "Let's see that ID."

Bella handed it to him without a word. "Isabella Swan, pretty name princess, and not quite 19 I see."

"It's Bella, as opposed to Isabella or princess."

Laughing he handed it back to her. Holding up the coffee jar her raised a questioning eyebrow.

Bella nodded "milk please, no sugar."

"Ok princess, I will pay you cash, $20 per day and a share of any tips. And we'll take it day by day. You can bed down in my spare room upstairs if you like." Handing her the coffee cup he held out his hand. "Shaun. Got any tats?"

Bella laughed out loud shaking his hand. "No, nor piercings either although I have been tempted in the past but I am not really good with blood."

"Jesus, princess you'll have to get over that here. Not good with blood, fuck. Don't faint do you?" Shaun asked almost shaking with laughter.

Bella blushed and looked at the floor.

Shaun laughed even louder. "Holy shit princess that's just perfect. Aw come on now don't get upset, I'll cure you, promise. How about we start with your ears then you can go and get your shit."

Taking a deep, slow breath Bella raised her cautious eyes to his laughing ones. There was no malice there at all, just humour. Feeling that this was a turning point for her, Bella analysed her feelings. Something had directed her to this moment. Her burgeoning grip on independence grew stronger. This felt like something she needed to do and for reasons completely unknown she trusted Shaun.

"Ok, ears. How come you don't have a gazillion rings in your ears?"

"Didn't want em. No need to be like everyone expects is there?" he answered, taking her hand and leading her back out into the shop towards a chair. "Put your jacket there." Shaun motioned to a coat hook, watching her closely.

"No, no need at all." Bella smiled as she looked through the selection of jewellery to choose from. This was going to be fun.

Almost three weeks later a very different Bella was walking back to the shop after having been out to pick up some sandwiches. She strode confidently down the sun drenched street in tight, tight jeans, a black 'Iron Maiden' cropped T-shirt and knee high, three inch heeled, black boots. "Fuck me boots" Shaun had called them the first time he saw them. Since starting work at the shop she had expanded her taste in clothes and music no end. She had even laughed that "Bring your daughter to the slaughter" would have been much more appropriate for her wedding than the wedding march. She had turned so many corners since arriving here that she barely recognised herself.

Shaun questioned her on everything and taught her to do the same. Why accept the norm if you don't want to? Why disappear into the crowd when we are each an individual? Why live up to the expectations of others and not of yourself? He told her she was strong and independent, and so, she was. His moto was "If I am to die tomorrow I want no regrets today." Bella wanted no regrets either. He also taught her to drink, spending several evenings including her birthday in the local bar or club getting "shit faced" and dancing. Bella had discovered she actually enjoyed dancing.

Bella had cut her hair to just below the shoulders in a more fashionable style, it was still the luscious brunette of before but now had dark red highlights underneath. She had her ears pierced and a tiny diamond stud in her nose that glinted in the sun. She also had a bar through her belly button with green crystals on it that dangled seductively just above the waistband of her jeans. What only the close observer could see was the tips of tattooed wings poking out from the top of her jeans that came from the phoenix that was on her hip. It was just over a week old and healing well. Bella loved it and had helped with the design. She felt it was true to her in so many ways. She had risen from the ashes of her former life and was happy with the end product.

Today was her last day. She was all packed and ready to leave after a quick lunch. Mick had started at the shop a couple of days ago so she was no longer needed. Besides, Bella felt ready to move on. She would miss being here though.

Smiling to herself, Bella thought about Shaun. The trust she felt for him had not only remained but grown. A friendship had quickly developed between them. Bella had stayed in Shaun's spare bed a grand total of two nights before he persuaded her to share his own. He had taken her virginity gently and tenderly, making her feel amazing, more importantly he had made her feel. He had never once led her on, she knew exactly where she stood with him. Shaun didn't want a long term relationship, he liked his freedom and Bella was always leaving. While they cared for one another they were not in love. The relationship between them suited them both.

As she walked Bella began to feel as though she was being watched. Feeling eyes on her but not sure where from. Her heart leapt into her mouth. Had Edward found her? Looking into an alley way across from the shop she saw what looked like a darker shadow in the shadows. Was she imagining it? The shadow didn't move and the feeling of being watched never went away.

Taking a deep breath Bella walked into the shop. "Sod it" she thought. She was leaving today anyway and with the bright sun outside Edward would have trouble getting to her if it was even him and not her imagination. She was fairly sure Edward would have let her know if it was him.

"Come on Princess. What kept you, we're hungry?" Shaun shouted as she walked in. Taking the sandwiches he handed her a small bottle of beer. "Get that down you before you go."

"Sorry guys, got held up" She answered with a smile. Tipping her head back she took a long pull from the bottle. Shaun pulled her onto his lap and kissed the back of her neck. Bella quickly glanced out of the window, there was no movement from the alley.

They ate the food in friendly conversation while the radio played in the back ground. After eating Bella gave Mick a hug and wished him luck.

By her car Shaun pulled her into his arms. "I'm gonna miss you princess. Take care of yourself and have fun ok." He kissed her long and tenderly.

"I'll miss you too Shaun" she whispered into his mouth, "thanks for everything."

"No, thank you princess. No get going before I drag you back upstairs for a proper goodbye." He said with a laugh and a slap on her arse.

She pulled on to the road and drove away. The feeling of being watched disappeared as she drove and the familiar feeling of freedom returned. Her happiness soared. She was still free, and was living her life.

In the alley across from the shop the dark shadow lightened slightly as a shape moved deeper into the darkness, then disappeared completely.


End file.
